Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Range Games

Part Select is having a GE Appliance giveaway.  All you have to do is submit a blog post that relates to one of their topics.   This one caught my eye..   “If your appliance could talk, what would it say?”  See I know our oven has a mind of its own and in that evil mind it has devised a plot to drive me completely insane.    Here is our oven.  
It is a downdraft.  Because of the way our kitchen is laid out, it is the only type of range we can get.  Which limits us to two…that’s right just two models.  Our oven knows that my choices are limited as well as the fact that our budget is nonexistent.  It all plays into its diabolical plan to push me over the edge. 

What the Oven says: 
“Actually she is quite correct.  I do have plan.  I have to confess though it didn’t start out to be evil or diabolical.  In fact, in the beginning, it was just a simple malfunction of my sensor.  Sensor goes out and I start blinking F-3 and beeping nonstop.  Who could have predicted my owner would have lost her manual and have no idea what F-3 meant?  Really it is all her fault that things have digressed to this point.  She kind of hyped out trying to figure out what F-3 meant (and how to stop the insane beeping.)  The problem was easily solved by a visit from her local repairman.
It would have ended there, but I got a little bored.  After all, she really doesn’t cook all that much.  Let’s be honest here, the Food Network is not going to be calling her in the near future.  Besides, it is not my fault I seem to have a fatal flaw with sensors.  It was evitable that the sensor should go out again.  F-3 and beeping equals frustration and button pushing.  All in all, it makes for quite a show.  I must confess I did do a little messing on my part.  Sometimes, I would turn on and cook everything to perfection.  Sometimes I would start the annoying beeping halfway through.  Sometimes just for the heck of it I would start the beeping in the middle of the night when the stove wasn’t even on.  That little maneuver produced quite a show.
Now my owner is no dummy.  She did what every DYIer would does, she started researching me on the internet.  She ordered a new sensor and installed it herself.  She was so proud that I almost stopped the shenanigans right then and there. ..almost.   Instead I lulled her into a false sense of accomplishment and then BAM!  Beep, beep, beep.  I thought she was going to pick me up single handedly and toss me out the window.
Now we are engaged in the most satisfying game.  I let her start the oven, preheat and put her food in.  After about 10 minutes, I flash the code and start the beeping.  Now my owner is a tough cookie.  She has not yet thrown in the towel.  She plays with my buttons, turns on the fan and restarts me.  I give it a few minutes and then make my move.  She counters with a push of the broiler selection and then a quick push of her bake selection.  Sometimes I reward her inventiveness with a full 25 minutes of cook time.  But of course, I can’t let her think that she has won.  That middle of the night random beeping is by far the best move I can make.  I have also found flashing other random codes like F-0 also drive her crazy.
There are times I feel a little sorry for her.  Watching her trying to bake Christmas cookies did make me feel just a tiny bit ashamed.  However, the constant battle of wits every three minutes as she tried to keep me from beeping and shutting down was just too much fun.  Really it is not a diabolical plan…maybe if she would have used me more, I wouldn’t have gotten so bored.  Hmm….I wonder if the dishwasher and refrigerator would like to join in on all the fun. “           

 The Oven

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